The Smog Father
Weeeee just had an update, and I must inform you all that Smog Babies is in fact, *wrong*. Ian personally paid my death wage off to make sure you all know it's really GRAVY BABIES, he's calling all of us. So. There you go! I was paid to say so, not to edit this file. This is Hampton Lewis, at your Morning News 8 Ian "Larger Bank Account" "Left Beef Lenist" "New Age Anacro Left Beef" "I'm to rich for my own good" Last Name goes by many titles on the Official Deadwing Dork Discord Server, The Sicko Army. He is known mostly by his giant $500 dollar super chat to introduce himself, and got a role for it and everything. That's a hard dab reader. He paid a bear more than your rent this month, just to say hi. I believe they say "And I oop" after something like that. Or possibly a "get served" is in order. He is quiet and studious in his daily interactions with us "smog babies" a term Ian frequently uses to describe fellow members of the server. Someone at some point had sex with this man, and they learned he lives in New York City, (New York State, America Continent, Earth Planet, Sol System, Long Way Away Milky Way Arm), hence the "smog babies" he's always talking about. Who was the partner, and what is the status on the baby? Well, I'm not a nosy dick like you am I? Is the baby real? Did the bhig ghay happen? Am I real? Who's fingers are these...? Mom pick me up I'm scared =[ Ian is also known as a man of *layers.* He is terrified of the wind, often seen wearing several shirts at a time, with a very stylish and tasteful floral pattern on the sleeves. Nobody knows what dramatic trauma unfolded in his shrouded past to warrant such drastic cloth coverings, but our experts insist on being mentioned, and so I guess they say something about the wind and a city block zones with wind dynamics and okay they're gone. Jerks. Man likes his shirts. He wears to many, but well, I drink to much so there you go. "Larger Bank Account Thank You Hard Dab I'm Totally T Posing Right Now" is also known to graffiti the Arts and Selfies page, regularly leaving shitty Microsoft Paint drawings he does while at work. We all praise him for it because we secretly want some of those inside trades he handles. God damn, you do shit like that and still get paid more than me? I mop floors and do shitty documentaries you FUCK! JESSICA DOESN'T HAVE HER MEDICINE THIS MONTH BECAUSE OF PEOPLE LIKE YOU GOD DAMN IT *fizzle* *whirl* *Tazer sound along with yelling and a hell of a lot of angry breathing, like in a pornography film* *Did they tell you they normally spit and pee themselves? I was told they go poo, personally* *Oh wait, is this thing---* Ian, who is regularly seen on the subway, and also a daily visitor of the bathroom, is known to do "art" Legend says this person with bones and skins, and a truck load of sins, twitches his wrist and colors appear on a thing you shouldn't touch or you'll break it. Then he uploads said files to a giant sticky web, for the pleasure of us all. Some say things that go up there never come down. So here is my mandatory reminder never to go there, IZ MONSERS!1111 I don't actually have anything else to add. Ian is a cool dude and I'm waiting on his approval of this before I add some of his funny Paint stuff and a header image. I don't wanna be rude and steal his shit for my own personal gain https://www.youtube.com/user/DudemanofAwesome Wow that was a weird cough and finger spasm, along with brief amnesia and some beatings to make me forget. Here is State Approved art. Here seen is the Bad Brit Box, where a naughty Mevolander is crushed and hid in a closet until normal people leave. Mevolander likes it. He will tell you so *or else* I had to press enter eleven times to get this web page to go past that naughty, awful, bad brit box. I'm leaving now.